When Pain Becomes a Wall

A Word for the Wounded, the Wounder, and the Disappointed

There are wounds we don’t talk about. 
Wounds that don’t bleed, but bruise the soul. 
Wounds that make faith feel heavy and hope feel dangerous.

I’ve learned that many people don’t stop believing because they hate God. 
They stop because life kept breaking their trust.

And the question that sits beneath so much disappointment is this:

“If God already knew… why didn’t He stop it?”

That question doesn’t come from rebellion. 
It comes from heartbreak.

The Wound of Disappointment

Unbelief is not always rejection. 
Sometimes it’s exhaustion.

People lose faith when:

– They prayed and nothing changed 
– They hoped and were let down 
– They trusted people who carried God’s name and were wounded by them 
– They watched tragedy unfold and couldn’t reconcile it with a loving God 

This is the wound that builds walls. 
This is the wound that makes unbelief feel safer than hope.

Psalm 34:18 says, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted.” 
Not the perfect. 
The brokenhearted.

The Question That Breaks Faith

I’ve heard the question many times:

“If God knew, why didn’t He stop it?”

School shootings. 
Innocent children dying. 
Families shattered. 
Lives cut short.

For many, this isn’t theology. 
It’s trauma.

Here is the truth I teach:

God’s foreknowledge is not permission. 
God’s awareness is not agreement. 
God’s sovereignty is not cruelty.

He sees every evil act — 
but He does not author it.

Humanity has free will, 
and humanity has used it to harm, destroy, and devastate.

God does not control every human choice. 
But He redeems what evil tried to destroy.

Genesis 50:20 says, “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good…”

God does not cause tragedy. 
But He steps into the aftermath with healing, justice, and restoration.

Where God Is in Tragedy

Let me say this plainly:

God is not the shooter. 
God is not the silence. 
God is not the pain.

He is in the breath of the survivor. 
He is in the comfort of the grieving. 
He is in the strength that rises from ashes. 
He is in the justice that eventually comes. 
He is in the healing that outlasts the pain.

God is not absent. 
He is present in the places we think He abandoned.

Church Hurt: When the Place of Safety Becomes a Source of Pain

Church hurt is real. 
It is not weakness. 
It is not immaturity.

It is betrayal in the place you expected protection.

And many confuse:

– God with the people who misrepresented Him 
– Love with the control they experienced 
– Faith with the shame they were taught 
– Holiness with fear-based religion 

But hear me clearly:

People may have failed you — 
but God did not become them.

Church hurt is a human wound, 
not a divine one.

—

The Wounded and the Wounder

There are two sides to every spiritual injury:

The Wounded
Those who were failed, betrayed, abandoned, or disappointed.

The Wounder
Those who caused harm because they were broken, unhealed, or spiritually blind.

God restores both.

He does not excuse the wounder. 
He does not abandon the wounded.

He heals the bruised 
and 
He transforms the bruiser.

Isaiah 42:3 says, “A bruised reed He will not break.”

This is God’s posture toward both sides of the wound.

The Restoration Path

Healing is not instant. 
It is layered. 
It is slow. 
It is sacred.

Here is the path I teach:

1. Acknowledge the wound
Healing begins with honesty, not performance.

2. Separate God from people
Humans failed. 
God didn’t become them.

3. Recognize the mercy of breath
Every morning is evidence of purpose.

4. Leave the door cracked
God does not need a wide-open heart. 
He works with a crack.

5. Let trust rebuild slowly
Restoration is not rushed. 
It is revealed.

Mark 9:24 says, “Lord, I believe; help my unbelief.” 
God honors honesty more than perfection.

A Word for Anyone Who Is Tired of Being Let Down

You didn’t close your heart because you hate God. 
You closed it because life kept breaking it.

And God knows that.

He’s not asking you to pretend. 
He’s not asking you to be strong. 
He’s not asking you to ignore what you’ve lived through.

He’s asking you to notice one thing:

You’re still here. 
You’re still breathing. 
You’re still waking up.

That’s not accident. 
That’s mercy.

Covenant Resolution

God restores trust by restoring truth:

– He is not the author of tragedy 
– He is the healer of tragedy 
– He is not who hurt you 
– He is who kept you alive 
– He is not the reason you closed your heart 
– He is the reason your heart can open again 

You don’t have to trust today. 
You don’t have to believe today.

Just don’t shut the door. 
Leave it cracked. 
God can work with a crack.